Finding Resilience Within Rejection
“I just wanna quit.”
The discouraged voice reverberating in my head at the end of a week where rejection seemed to be around every corner.
Two clients didn’t renew. A “no” on a presentation proposal. Another “no” on being accepted into a business coaching program. And the final, most devastating, “no” from a conference speaker lineup with an alternates list feature that felt worse than the rejection itself.
Every “no” I received hit like an arrow, waiting to reveal some fatal flaw within myself.
Negative self-talk took over: I’m not cut out for this. I’m too inexperienced. There are better keynote speakers and I don’t have enough fancy credentials. I’m too young. There's nothing special about me. I have no competitive edge.
Each shot of negative self-talk wore my armor down bit by bit. Rejection is a foe no one wants to face. Against the echo of “failure,” we often feel alone and powerless.
Yet our ability to navigate rejection with resilience has everything to do with what we make those rejections mean.
Fighting Negative Self-Talk
We create what we perceive: if we believe a “no” means we are flawed, incapable, or simply not good enough, our confidence and sense of purpose will suffer.
Instead, if we make a rejection mean we have something to learn, simply weren't a right fit or have an opportunity to be better, our resilience will flourish.
You might not feel better in the moment, but those unpleasant feelings will be for the better.
Discovering Your Greatest Weapon: Resilience
To boost your resilience in the face of rejection, reframe your perspective to see the opportunity rather than the failure.
A “no” now does not mean never. There are actions you can take to improve. This “no” created space for something better.
We might mourn the opportunity and sit with the expectation we’d built, but ultimately understanding that rejection stems from many reasons is a weapon in our resilience arsenal.
Every one of the “no’s” I’ve experienced in my life was a growth experience, not the rejection that finally exposed and confirmed my fatal flaw for the world to see. The arrows of doubt and discomfort that accompany rejection sharpened the blade of my resilience for my next attempt at success.
Ready to start training your resilience?
Be equipped for every obstacle with mindfulness exercises to overcome rejection:
Reflect: Think of a recent rejection that left you doubting yourself. What did you make that rejection mean? How did that choice of framing make you think, feel and behave?
Act: Journal three ways the rejection worked for you rather than against you. What can you learn or gain from the experience?
Empower: Want to know the biggest secret to success? Everyone who is pushing themselves is getting rejected. A lot. There’s no need to fight alone.
Connect with me to begin transformative coaching for growth and success. Each coaching session is tailored to building your resilience. Book your first 1:1 today!
